When I was in High School, a white boy made a racially charged statement directly to me in front of my whole class and my teacher. His hurtful statements came from out of nowhere. Many of my classmates came to my defense and told him that he was wrong and that he should apologize. Some watched and waited to see what I would do. Before I could do or say anything, my teacher stepped in and ask me to leave the class. Yes, I was asked to leave the class and no unfavorable action was issued to the boy who offended me. It was never made clear to me why I was asked to leave. I wonder if it was easier for my teacher to remove the victim of racial prejudice than to deal with the person dispensing it. I tried to rationalize what had happened. After all, it was a predominately white school with a predominately white teaching staff, but I still couldn’t understand the events that took place and why. At that moment in my life, I learned a painful lesson about racism. I learned that the subject of racism and the courage to stand up to it made people very uncomfortable. It also confirmed to me at a very young age, that racial privilege existed in the world and that injustice toward people of color was inconsequential. I attempted to ask my teacher why he did what he did. He made it clear that his decision was not up for discussion or debate. I wanted to ask him, “do you see me? Do you really SEE ME?”
I haven’t thought about this past event in many years, but it recently came to remembrance as I was reflecting on my feelings about Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Eric Garner and Tamir Rice. I think of their mothers and their families having that same feeling of helplessness. In no way do I equate my experience to theirs because they suffered the tragic loss of a loved one. Watching all of the news coverage concerning the outcomes (and pending outcomes) of the judicial proceedings concerning these men has been personally disconcerting, disturbing and alarming. I have so many raw (rhetorical) questions from ALL sides like:
- Why didn’t George Zimmerman get back into his car when he was instructed to do so by the 911 operator, and why did he continue to pursue Trayvon Martin and why did he have a gun?
- Why was Michael Brown in that convenience store being abusive to the store owner? I’m not saying that he deserved to die as a result of these actions, but I don’t get why he did that. Did his actions set off a trajectory of events? Was it ever truly corroborated that it was in fact Michael Brown in the convenience store video footage?
- Did Darren Wilson really have to shoot Michael Brown 6 times?
- Why did Michael Brown lay dead in the street for approximately 4 hours?
- Why did the citizens of Ferguson, MO destroy their own neighborhoods by looting and setting fires to businesses? Was this really a raw emotional reaction to the grand jury’s decision to not indict Darren Wilson? These actions should not deflect from those who protested peacefully.
- Why did no one believe Eric Garner, when he stated, “I can’t breathe” 11 times before he ultimately died as a result of being restrained in a chokehold?
- Why are there people in the United States who believe we live in a post racial era (where racism scarcely exists) and why do so many refuse to engage in dialog about racial issues?
- Why is the African American community saying “Hands up, Don’t Shoot”, but will say “Don’t Snitch”, when there’s black on black crime?
- Why were George Zimmerman, Darren Wilson and Daniel Pantaleo absolved and not prosecuted? Especially in Daniel Panteleo’s case as there was video footage which showed a good portion of the incident where Eric Garner died and an autopsy report that ruled his death as a homicide.
- Why do discussions about racism only happen as a result of a terrible tragedy where racism is suspected?
- As a Christian, how can I make a difference?
As I ponder many of these questions, I get so incredibly furious. I know that not all cops are bad, not all black people are criminals and not all white people are racist, but I hate racism and the disagreements and injustices that come as a result of it. But ironically, reconciliation can blossom from racism. Look at the peaceful protests happening around the country comprised of people from many different cultural backgrounds coming together to say “all people matter”. What I have noticed is that people get so upset about the racial injustice new stories profiled in the media, but do so very little about the racial injustices happening right under their very noses. I know that people have witnessed people being discriminated against at their places of employment and even at their places or worship and have never been as angry as they are about what is being showcased in the media. Do we only get angry about racism when there’s no immediate impact to us? I asked God, how can I stop being so angry about all of these events. He led me to John 13:34-35, where Jesus says “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
The body of Christ has a great responsibility to lead by example and by showing the world what true love is and exemplifying love during times like this. We can also set an example by stretching ourselves and moving beyond racial boundaries. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “It is appalling that the most segregated hour of Christian America is eleven o’clock on Sunday morning.” Jesus himself moved beyond racial boundaries when he paid the ultimate penalty by sacrificing his life for the sins of all mankind. Before Jesus ascended into heaven, he instructed us to move beyond racial boundaries and go throughout the world and share the Gospel and make disciples. If you share the same feelings of anger that I do, please be encouraged and pray for God to help you to truly look at people through the eyes of Jesus Christ and “see them” as being worthy of love, even if their name is George Zimmerman, Darren Wilson or Daniel Pantaleo. If God loves them, we can learn to love them through the eyes of Christ.
In conclusion, the reality is that we live in a fallen world. Injustice is happening all around the world, even as you’re reading this blog. But by our actions, we should fight not to succumb to injustice by demonstrating the love of Christ. I challenge you in the midst of these terrible events to really ask yourself this question. Do you really genuinely see people as human beings, even when they are unlovable and despite the stereotypes that you maybe grew up hearing about them? Do you see people even when they have nothing to give you or if there’s nothing that you can exploit from them? If it’s hard for you to do, pray and ask God to give you the wisdom to inquire and have a peaceful dialog with someone you know and trust who is a different race than you. I love this quote from “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee which says, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” Respect and understanding truly do matter. Black Lives Matter and that doesn’t suggest that ALL lives do not matter to God because they do. If black lives and all life matters to God, then black lives and all life should matter to you and me. Thank you for listening. Now, I can breathe…
Thank you Sandy. This is well written. The only thing I would add is that protests are happening around the world because injustice for people of color is not right in the US or there. The “Thank You” in these situations are that many of us are talking and committing to being the change! We also need to read, know, share the laws, and work to change the laws that allow and support injustice.
Chanda » Thanks so much for your comments and taking the time to read, Chanda. Yes, it should be noted that peaceful protests are happening around the world.
Sandy as a school mate and friend of yours. My heart hurts to hear that you were put in that situation. You have always been one of if not the most positive, fun loving, talented and the nicest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Your words are always kind and heart felt. I too can remember going through some of those things. Maybe not as much or as bad as you went through. I can recall many a time walking down the streets in our hometown which I recently moved back to just in the past 4 yrs. My is it so very different now. Anyhow cars would ride past me and a gang of white kids would hang out of there cars and yell nigger at me. I would think to myself. What did I do for them to call me that. Then immediately I would get angry and wish they would turn around so I could do harm to them. You can’t say it to my face but you can ride by and throw things and slurs at me. How cowardly of you. I can remember the race riots. I can remember get chased for dating white girls. Being multi-racial was hard as well. But that was over 30 yrs ago and as much as I want to say it’s better now. It’s really not. It’s just has a bandaid over and every now and then the bleeding starts again and they just clean it off a little and place another one over the wound until it starts to bleed again. Instead of really trying to handle the problem head on. In this day and age, especially with so many mixed races that anyone should have to worry about the thing we and our ancestors had to deal with when it come to racial, spiritual, sexual preference or any other difference we may have. You hear ppl say we’ve come along way. No. We need to be done with it period. I also think that’s a lot of the problem with black on black crime. We’re brain washed and selfish. Instead of trying to build each other up let’s break each other down mentality. The crazy thing is that most of the ppl we went to school with weren’t all that bad and I am pleased to say that quite a few of them are like family to me. We still got a lot work . Just keep doing what your doing and being the BEAUTIFUL woman of God you have always been. Love you sister.GG2 *
Trini and Chanda, thanks so much for taking the time to read and for sharing your thoughts. May God use us as instruments of peace and reconciliation.